Once More From the Top (The Women of Willow Bay) Page 4

  “I couldn’t have a custody battle with you,” she said. “I knew you’d win. I didn’t have anything to fight you with. The best I could hope for would be joint custody, and how could we have done that? Where would you fit a child in your life? It seemed impossible.” Breathless, she wrapped her arms around her knees and stared out at the lake.

  He rose, and she raised her head to watch him through blurry eyes, half hoping he’d simply walk away. Anger showed in his stiff frame as he paced the beach, head down, hands fisted at his sides. Finally, he stopped and plopped down. “How in the hell could you do this? Didn’t I at least deserve a chance to be in on the decision?” He peered into her face. “Dammit, Carrie, I just want to—” His fingers curled into a fist.

  She shifted away from him.

  Dropping his hand, he rested his forehead on his bent knees. When he raised his head, he closed his eyes, the muscles working in his jaw. He swallowed hard. “That’s his name? Jack?”

  “Jackson Michael Halligan.” Carrie forced a wan smile.

  “You gave him my middle name?” Liam’s face lit up just for an instant as she nodded. “And why Jackson?”

  “Jackson was my father’s first name.”

  “And he was born... in late January?” She could see him calculating in his head.

  “January thirtieth, actually.”

  “God, that’s my brother Duncan’s birthday.”

  There didn’t seem to be a good response to that so she sat quietly. He stood again and walked up the beach a little ways. She wished she could read his mind, know what he was thinking. He walked back to her and she leapt up, sliding Jack’s picture into her pocket. When he reached out for it, she handed it to him.

  “This is the real reason Eliot called me to do the benefit, isn’t it?” He waved the snapshot before pocketing it himself. “Why did he decide to come to me now?”

  “I don’t know. He believes I should have told you from the beginning, but I made him promise to stay out of it. He’s getting older—almost eighty and his health isn’t great. Maybe he’s tying up loose ends or crossing this off his bucket list.” She gave a little shrug when her attempt at lightening the mood fell flat.

  “This is one hell of a loose end.”

  “Don’t blame Eliot for any of this.” She reached out to touch his arm, but snapped her hand back before she made contact. One touch and any chance of clear thinking would be gone. “He’s been by my side since the day Dad died. His choices came from a deep devotion to me.” She exhaled a long breath. “Including coming to you now, I guess.”

  Liam shoved his hand into his jacket pocket, kicking at the sand as he withdrew the picture. “Tell me about Jack.” He held up the photo, staring at it with an intensity that sent a shiver racing the length of her spine. “He could be my nephew Jamie’s twin. That’s actually why this picture stopped me. He’s sixteen, Duncan’s youngest.”

  “Jack’s beautiful,” she replied, not guarding her words for the first time since she’d seen Liam. “And smart and completely charming.” He’s you. She only wished she dared say those words out loud. “He’ll be a sophomore at—” She hesitated a fraction of a second. “—in the fall. He loves to swim and read and sail. He’s funny and curious about everything.” The breeze off the lake raised gooseflesh on her arms.

  He reached down and grabbed her hoodie. After shaking the sand out, he tossed it at her. “Get your stuff, let’s walk. By God, you’re going to tell me all of it.”

  Carrie zipped on her sweatshirt and then picked up her belongings. “You want lunch?” She slung the canvas tote over her shoulder.

  “Lunch?” He stared at her aghast. “Are you kidding? I want to see my son. Where is he?”

  “He’s away for the summer.” Brushing the sand off the back of her shorts, she started down the beach at a brisk pace.

  He followed, jogging alongside her on the hard-packed sand. “Where is he?” Suspicion darkened his eyes. “Are you hiding him from me?”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, Liam.” When she stopped short, he almost ran into her. “I didn’t even know you were going to be here, how could I be hiding him from you?”

  “Actually, that’s exactly what you’ve been doing his whole life.” His hair ruffled in the breeze as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m still dealing with seeing you again. Now I find out I have a fifteen-year-old son I never knew existed. Why don’t you cut me some slack and just tell me where he is?”

  “He’s at camp,” she snapped. “He’ll be there until the end of August.”

  “I want to meet him. I want to talk to him. Where’s the camp?” He started walking toward the marina, but she didn’t follow him. He turned to face her. “Where’s the camp?” he demanded through gritted teeth.

  “You need to let me talk to him before you go charging up there.” She caught up to him. “He’s not prepared to meet his absent father out of the blue like this.”

  “Absent father? What the—that’s not my fault, is it?” His voice hardened. “You are the reason I’ve been absent. That certainly would never have been my choice!” His eyes narrowed into tight, angry slits. “What exactly have you told him about me?”

  Chewing her lower lip, she turned away from his intense scrutiny. “Nothing.”

  “Surely he’s asked about his father once or twice in his lifetime. Did you tell him I was dead or that I abandoned you?”

  “Of course not!”

  “It’s a legitimate question.” He sounded perfectly reasonable in spite of the rage simmering near the surface. “How the hell am I supposed to know what you’ve been thinking or doing the last fifteen years? Exactly what have you been telling my son about me?”

  “I haven’t told him anything about you, okay?” His fierce expression had her backing up several steps, and she eyed him warily. “Look, I told him things didn’t work out between us—that I was young and I chose not to tell you about being pregnant. He doesn’t know who you are or how I met you. All he knows is that I wanted him more than anything.”

  “So he knows I don’t know anything about him?”

  Carrie nodded.

  Liam threw up his hands. “He knows that he has a father out there somewhere, who doesn’t even know he exists, and he’s totally okay with that?”

  “I seriously doubt he’s totally okay with it, but it is what it is. He’s not the only kid in town being raised by a single mother. You don’t understand. This is the way our life has always been—just him and me.” Tears of frustration stung her eyes. “Would you rather I’d told him you were dead or that you didn’t want him?”

  “Goddammit, Carrie, I would’ve preferred that you’d told me you were pregnant to begin with!” He didn’t hide his fury as ruddy color rose from his collar. “Were you ever planning to tell me? Or was I going to find a thirty-year-old, red-headed stranger on my doorstep one day saying, ‘Hi, Dad’? Did you ever think about any of this, or was it easier to be stupid and pretend none of it mattered?”

  She turned away and then spun back, blinking back tears. “For God’s sake, it’s all I’ve thought about since the day he was born! I knew the time would come when I had to tell you both. It’s a moot point now, isn’t it?”

  “Damn straight.”

  They walked toward the marina in stilted silence, Carrie’s own aggravation building as he strode several feet ahead of her. He had a right to be mad, even furious, but couldn’t he try to see her side? Even just a little? Her conscience nudged her.

  Give him a break. He just found out he has a son he never knew about. Let him cool off. Especially since he doesn’t know everything yet.

  She picked up her pace, intending to leave him to work through the anger. Then they could talk.

  He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

  “It was real big of you not to make me out the bad guy in this. Thanks. Thanks a bunch.” In spite of his words, his voice wasn’t quite so harsh.

  Carrie stared up into eyes so filled with hur
t her heart ached. “Liam, I’m... sorry. I didn’t make this choice to hurt you. Please believe me.” She stopped, placing a hand on his arm. “I made it to protect me. And Jack. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what else to do. I thought we were over.” She tightened her grip. Although his jacket was warm from the sun, he was trembling. “You were in Europe. We hadn’t known each other long enough to—” She didn’t know what she was trying to say, so she shrugged and gave up.

  His expression hadn’t softened, but as he gazed down at her, confusion clouded his eyes. Suddenly his mouth closed over hers. Without a second’s hesitation, Carrie swayed toward him as his lips moved fiercely on hers, his tongue tracing her lower lip. He yanked her body to his almost brutally, and yet she lifted her arms to circle his neck. His big hands moved over her back and down to her hips, claiming her as he pulled her against him. She curled her fingers into the thick hair at his nape. Her tongue met his in an intimate duel that left her shaken.

  His lips softened to a gentler kiss, and she tasted the salty tang of his tears as well as her own. At last, he lifted his lips a fraction of an inch.

  “Dear God, Carrie. What’s happening?” he whispered. Tears shimmered in his eyes when he pulled back, but he simply allowed them to roll down his cheeks.

  FIVE

  Her wide-eyed innocence and purity did Liam in—the same expression that messed with his mind from the first moment he saw Carrie Halligan. The very look that heated his blood the afternoon they spent in bed in Montreal. When she’d gazed into his face and whispered, “I’m sorry,” that was it. He was a goner—the anger momentarily overcome by desire so strong he nearly took her right there on the sand. How could a woman live in this world for forty years, raise a son, run a business, and yet seem so completely untouched? And Christ almighty, why couldn’t he stop thinking about touching her?

  Walking along the shore in silence together, the yard or so between them seemed vast. When they reached the docks, they agreed to go to neutral corners for a little while. She had an appointment with a client, while he and Will were expected in Traverse City to meet with TSO’s artistic director. He was dying to hear everything about Jack, but he and Carrie both needed time to regroup. Tonight would be soon enough. Drained mentally, emotionally, even physically, he was still as pissed as he’d ever been in his life, but also exhilarated.

  I have a son—a teenage son!

  He’d believed he would never have a child—since the cancer, that door had been forever closed. And now, here was a miracle. His son.

  Liam ached to meet him, to see him, to talk to him. The picture from the bulletin board burned a hole in his pocket. He pulled it out again and again, examining it for—what? He didn’t know. Himself, perhaps?

  Sitting on the hood of his roadster in the marina parking lot, he gazed out across the bay, waiting for Will. After the meeting in Traverse City, they were driving by Interlochen Arts Academy to tour the concert venue. He was grateful to have his friend along. The morning had been so overwhelming, Liam wasn’t sure he could focus on any of it.

  He gave the picture another moment or two of scrutiny before footsteps crunched on the gravel.

  “Hey, whatcha got?” A lively breeze tousled Will’s blond hair as he approached.

  “Take a look.” Liam handed him the photo.

  Holding the photo up to the sun, Will squinted at it and then grinned. “Geez, that kid’s getting tall. When did Duncan get a sailboat?”

  Liam pulled himself up with effort and slid into the car, surprised at the toll emotion had taken on his body. Suddenly, he was exhausted and more than anything, wanted go back to his warm bed on the Allegro and sleep. “That’s not Jamie.”

  “It’s not?” Instead of opening the passenger door, Will hopped over it and dropped into the red leather seat, still clutching the picture. “Sure looks like Jamie.”

  “It’s my son, Will.”

  Will’s jaw dropped and for a moment, he was speechless. “Your son? Who sent you this?”

  “I found it on the bulletin board in the bait shop.” Liam inclined his head toward the red barn at the bottom of the hill.

  “Where? How? Wha—”

  Liam couldn’t help grinning. Will was clearly flummoxed, his reaction pretty much summing up his own feelings. “He’s Carrie’s. Well, Carrie’s and mine.”

  “Carrie? Carrie from McGill?” Will threw up his hands. “Jesus! Okay, back up and start at the beginning.” He glanced at his watch. “But drive.” Then his eyes narrowed as he eyed Liam, slumped in the driver’s seat. “Or would you rather we postponed these meetings? I can do that. We can go back to the boat and have a drink. Seriously, you look like you could use one.”

  “No, I promised I’d do this, and I will.” Liam took a deep breath. “Would you mind driving?”

  “Sure.”

  They switched places, and Liam rode silently for a few minutes, grateful to have a friend like Will Brody. They’d met when Liam conducted The Nutcracker for Chicago Ballet and Will was a supernumerary in the production. A chance conversation in the green room about investments developed into a business relationship, which quickly became a friendship. More than once, he’d thought about asking Will to take over as his agent. He knew Marty would be ugly about it, even though Marty himself had relinquished most of the day-to-day career management.

  Maybe it was time to make a change. After all, it was Will, not Marty, who’d been there through the cancer battle, staying at the hospital with him for radiation and driving him to doctor’s appointments. Marty had been house hunting in California. While Will brought him food from Chicago’s finest restaurants in an effort to tempt him to eat, Marty took a trip to Hawaii with his latest girlfriend.

  Will had picked up Liam’s parents at O’Hare, sympathized as Liam overshared his frustration with Marty, and listened without judgment one long night as he confided the story of Carrie Halligan. Will was the one who hung out backstage during concerts and ran interference for him. Marty rarely made it to a concert anymore. The Internet and cell phones had made his physical presence unnecessary. His focus was to keep Liam on the podium, and he could do that from his home in Malibu—a house that Liam’s lucrative career had made possible.

  Even as he told Will what he’d discovered about Jack, he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he had a son.

  “Did she say why she never told you?” Will asked, turning onto the highway heading east to Traverse City.

  “Apparently, she was scared I’d try to take him away from her.”

  “Oh, come on,” Will scoffed. “That’s crazy.”

  “I know.” Liam leaned against the headrest, letting the sun warm his face. “Don’t ask me what she was thinking. She’s an enigma. But by God, I’m gonna know my son and he’s going to know me.”

  “So he’s at camp all summer?”

  “That’s what she said. I think she was telling the truth. We’re having dinner on the boat tonight to talk.”

  Will glanced at him with a smile. “Want Cap’n Tony and me to make ourselves scarce?”

  “Yeah, that’d be great.”

  “No prob.” Will’s grin widened as he guided the car into a parking spot near the symphony offices. “Actually Noah and his wife, Margie, invited me to go night fishing. I’ll take Tony with me. Feel free to call if you need to be rescued.”

  The meeting at the symphony went well as the artistic director agreed to their music selections. Eyeing Liam with concern, Will stepped in to take charge of the details, asking all the right questions about the orchestra and verifying schedules. Liam, whose head still throbbed, appreciated his friend’s assistance. Everything seemed right on track.

  By midafternoon, Liam’s headache had all but disappeared as they drove onto the Interlochen Arts Academy campus to tour Corson Auditorium. Dave Lawson and his music camp board had pulled out all the stops for the event—it was already nearly sold out despite being set for the last Saturday in July. Patron tic
kets included a wine and cheese reception in the lobby before the concert, and a post-concert gala would take place on the lawn.

  Short, round, and hyperactive, Dave bubbled over with enthusiasm, obviously thrilled with Liam’s decision to conduct. “Thanks so very much for agreeing to do this, Maestro! You’re a huge draw for our event!”

  “My pleasure, Dave. Your summer program’s one of the finest. I’m glad to be a part of it.” He couldn’t help but grin at the balding man, who reminded him of Mr. Toad from the books of his childhood.

  “I know this is also a vacation for you, Maestro, but we’d love to have you come up and tour our camp while you’re in the area.” Dave smiled. “The kids would get a kick out of meeting you, and you could see what you’re raising funds for. As a matter of fact, we’re doing a recital this Sunday afternoon for the junior piano campers. I think you’d enjoy it.” His smile expanded. “The five-to-seven-year-olds are getting their feet wet onstage, and the counselors get to see their students shine. Very casual, but fun.” Stopping for a breath, he wiped his brow. “A couple of the older ones will perform, too.”

  “Call me Liam, please. And yes, I’d like to see the recital, thanks.” A glance at Will’s furrowed brow made him add, “What time? I could slip in when everyone’s seated and meet folks afterward.”

  “It starts at two. Eliot can give you directions. Oh, and tell Eliot his star is closing the recital with Jelly Roll Morton. That’ll get him up there.” Dave extended his hand to both men, then trotted off.

  Will shook his head. “That man’s energy could light up a small town. I’ll bet he’s good with those kids. He’s a big kid himself.” He reached for the passenger door as Liam slid into the driver’s seat. “You okay to drive?”

  “Yeah, I’m better, thanks.” Liam started the engine and headed back toward Willow Bay. “I’ve been thinking… what would you say to taking over as my agent-slash-manager?”

  Silence from the seat next to him drew Liam’s eyes from the road for a brief moment.